First Test

This weekend marks the first test of my season. Its' a rolling circuit race that takes place at Long Run Park, here in Louisville. I've scouted the course, and it looks to suit me quite well. As mentioned it is rolling, and only has one climb.

I could have had my first test last night, since it was the first of a season's worth of Tuesday Night Worlds. I decided to bow out of that first night. Instead of a quality hard session full of tempo riding, its a high-paced showing of everyone's legs from the training that has filled their off-season. Its not exactly the effort I needed, and is populated by riders that I can do without. Cycling is not just a sport, but rather a complex community that thrives on competition and camaraderie. That camaraderie is unknown here in Louisville. Rides don't start with the chatter of how one's family is doing, or what their winter free time held; but simply with talk of Vo2 max tests, average power, training intervals, and just random information that is hollow and impersonal. I train nearly all year long, and do so with a power meter, but that isn't how I compare and judge others. I have struggled at times to fit into groups throughout my life because I don't fall into the general chest-thumping behaviour that exists in sport. It has frustrated me for a long time, because the beauty of sport and competition has been lost by many. I tend to distance myself from this and the people; to some it seems cold and unfriendly. I just choose to stick to my path, and if others parallel my path, they are let in to what I have to share.

Passion drives sport, and sport demands passion to become successful. I have a few friends that I ride with that ride with that passion. I choose to only ride with those who get it, otherwise they are distracting me from my trip. Those that I ride with range from new competitors that still find the joy, to riders that have hundreds of thousands of miles in their legs from a lifetime of "getting it."

Mary is one that truly enjoy riding with because she has a fierce competitive spirit to the degree that even when suffering with horrible allergies, does whatever she can to do her best. Ask her about day three in Cincinatti. Her first race was one that I won't forget. It was a pseudo-'cross race at a KOA campground in Indiana. She had no idea what to do, but she toed the line anyways. The race started with a Le-Mans style start, and Mary took it upon herself to somersalt down the hill instead of running it. She picked herself up and made it to her bike. The race continued, and unbeknownst to Mary, she had won. She thought that she had one more lap, and was drilling it. She did an entire extra lap faster than those before it, just to push herself more. She crossed the line in disbelief that she had won, and a little frustrated that she did an extra lap. Her only competitor in her class, finished a long ways back, and launched a rivalry that still exists today. It can barely be called a rivalry, mainly because Mary and I are the only ones that know of it. So, Mary became the "Indiana State Cyclocross Champion of the World" as she named it. She understood what cycling is that day.

Cycling is a personal development and journey to find one's self, and to discover the depths of beauty that lie within a ride. The riders that find themselves, whether through competition or alone out on the road, have truly won. I continue to ride for escape, adventure, and discovery, and I encourage all of you to do so.

He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear Takes in all beauty with an easy span...

With more spring-like conditions as of late, I've finally been able to get out on rides longer than a couple hours, also without being layered to the point of suffocation. I would trade the most beautiful days in the summer for 45-65 degrees all year long. That is my comfort zone, and I revel in those days where your ride may start a little chilly, warming only slightly, and maybe cooling off again by the time your done. This is really the only time of the year when I get to do my long rides. The rides that clear my head, but at the same time make my imagination soar. My latest fun purchase was a digital voice recorder. I feel like tacky journalist in a bad movie with it, but its the only way for me to capture my thoughts out on a ride. Until now, I just had to cross my fingers and try to remember all of it. I've had some marvelous ideas, and crucial discoveries about myself on my bike, and now I can hang on to those.

Its this time of year that I also find the most beauty in my surroundings. Some people need the trees to be full of colour and life, but I find that the landscape is at it's most distilled and honest at this point. There isn't any hiding the true appearance and character that sometimes gets lost with the coverage of leaves. Granted, I do love the fall, but more and more, I feel drawn to the weather that makes you suffer, and that leaves a mark on you. Everyone knows those rides, the ones that make you feel like you left part of yourself out on the road. The ride took something from you, and you're better because of it.

When I get asked about who the greatest cyclists were, I never think of the glamourous, showy cyclists of the Giro and Tour. I look to the workhorses that race in every Spring Classic that they could get into. The hollow faces, and the look of complete destruction that shows in each of these hardmen. These riders left everything out there, and the road has attacked them with anything it could. I look to these rides because I like to hurt; I like to feel a pain that I'm inflicting.

I've been drawing up a road schedule as of late, with the notion of racing quite a bit. I've got a local Spring Classic series that should be some good competition, but it also is a venue for me to make others hurt. Thats one reason why I bother to toe the line. I have that urge to hurt people on a bike; to inflict pain by burying them so deep that they can't see straight. I can do it to myself, and have now for a few years. Back in my messenger days, when I would sprint through traffic, I would go hard enough that my legs would swell so bad after work that I could sometimes hardly walk. That hurt was what i needed to feel, and what I wanted. It was something other than the pain and hurt that other aspects of my life brought me.

I've scouted out some of the courses, mapped them with my Garmin, and toyed with some setup changes. My power is good, my legs feel good, that burning is there, and that is ultimately what counts for me. For now, I'm stuck in the 4/5 races, but I hope to move out soon. I know that I can inflict pain in those races, but I do like the pain from getting beat up from faster folks. So, my big goal is to get to 2 status, but I would settle on being a race winner in the 3 field. Its a high bar to set, but thats what I need. I need to feel like I'm buried and in over my head. Thats how I felt at nearly every UCI event this year. It was so intimidating, that I drew some energy from just being scared. I liken it to being cornered; the only way out is to swing.

For the first part of this season, I look to be the one in the corner, and later to do my fair share of swinging.

I'm gonna need a bigger box...

I apologize for my recent leave of absence from the blog. I've been wearing many hats lately; this is the most recent addition -->
I spent my Valentine's Day with Mike Hanley, and a faction of the Purdue men's cycling squad, making myself official - or an official, rather. Stay tuned for an appearance in powder blue near you.

<-- I've also been wearing this one. Yes, the hat really looks like that. It's my manager hat. Aaron and I have really been pouring ourselves into the shop as of late. We've been working on spring orders and that sort of stuff, but we've been devoting more of our time to community building and advocacy projects like this one: http://cxmagazine.com/kentucky-ice-storm-cyclocross-party, as well as our Ladies' Night Series. We came up with a list of issues that affect us as cyclists, and then we narrowed it down to those that could be heavily offset with a bit of bike education. We then found some experts in each field to come and chat about their topics. The program takes place on Monday evenings at 5:30, and it will continue to run until the end of May. You can find the schedule here: Ladies' Night Series at Mountain Bike Depot & 'Cross Supply. We've got some really great speakers slated to come in, including some local legends as well as PRO imports. The really cool part is that we are partnering with Westport Whiskey and Wine for beverages and snacks, and we've gotten a lot of great support from our vendors for a free raffle at each event. We've also got a few other things in the works, so keep your ears to the ground, but be sure to get out of the way of oncoming traffic. OH! AND! I made a suuuper sweet new bulletin board for the shop - sort of like Home of the Innocents for tubes... you'll have to check it out for yourself.

I've been trying to wear this cap for at least an hour every day-->

Alec has been awesome; I'm pretty sure that he cares much, much more than I am paying him for, which - I'm still new to this game - but, I am pretty sure that is a rarity in the coaching world. I am excited to see what this 'cross season will hold.

And for my final trick...

In my defense, I don't really look like this until Friday, and - even then - my hair is blonder. My largest, approximately derby-sized, hat is my teacher hat, and that needs to continue to be my primary focus right now. The second semester is running much, much more smoothly than the last; I feel that I've won the trust of many of my students, which is honestly an incredibly rewarding feeling that I can't quite explain. So many of my kids come from such broken homes that it is truly awesome to know that they feel like they can come to me, and I will consistently be there to cradle them and their best interests. If nothing else, this year has cemented my love for kids; it's been an amazing opportunity to meet hundreds of new, really cool people, and then have the chance to get to know almost all of them and find out just how strong, intelligent, and witty each one truly is.

Over and out.

Back in the Groove

The past few weeks have been yielded some peace and quiet for Mary and myself. The New Year came, and to say goodbye to 2008 we went out to Lynn's Paradise Cafe. They were having a pajama party, and I surprised MCC with it. She always complains about not being able to wear pj's in public, and I thought it would be fun. So here she is decked out in her Christmas pj's playing with dinosaurs(If you haven't been to Lynn's you wouldn't get it).


We've settled into our training for the next year of racing, and trying to get our schedules figured out. I've been doing a little trail running on days where I just can't make myself get on the bike before dawn, so it has kept me pretty fresh. Like I mentioned in the last post, I use cycling for more than just fitness, so I managed to finally get out on a long road ride this past Sunday. It was cold, but I really needed to get out on the bike for a few hours. All day long at the shop this time of year can just wear you out.

So, I got out with a couple of good blokes, Jeff and Billy, to freeze in a small group. We headed out southeast of town, out to some territory that I haven't ventured into. It was refreshing to get out on country roads with some nice little twists and turns. The route has some little climbs, but that just got you warm for an instant or two. Stopped for a mid-ride double americano to warm up, and we hit it again back into town. All in all, it was a great ride, and fired me up again.

Well, if one ride is good, back to back days is better right? Every time for me. That being said, while observing my "appointment only" Monday schedule, I hit the road again for a few hours. This was a peaceful solo ride that took me out to Iroquois Park. It may be the hilliest park in the Metro, with a steady climb to the top, which rewards climbers with a view of the city from all directions. Its one of my favourite rides within the Metro, and well worth the ride up hill.
My "loaded down" road bike. Courtesy of Rob Tsunehiro. Man I love the Garmin and Powertap!


Yesterday's ride takes the cake though. Now, most sane people would see temps in the teens and twenties as a sign to stay inside and put on 5 layers. I am not sane, I put on those same 5 layers and got out to enjoy a true winter delight; frozen trail. Its not something that seems to happen much down here, but its something I grew to love living up North (somehow Northern Indiana is still "The North" down here). You could count on it nearly all month long in January, and it was a great time to get off the trainer. Anyways, I got out a little before sunrise and enjoyed the snap, crackle and pop of frozen soil underneath my tires. Since there wasn't any snow on the ground, traction is abundant and endless. You can rail corners faster than any other time of the year, and you just roll. It was also the third or fourth ride on my new Rocky Mountain ETSX. Its the first full-susser I've had in a while, so it feels like a full-on downhill bike! I still find myself picking smooth lines, but it gobbles up stuff with ease when I'm changing music on my iPod (scold me later). It climbs really well too, even for the 5 inches of suspension. It went on a diet last night when Mary and I received our latest supply of Alpha Q gear. Stay tuned for a review of the great stuff they've sent us.

Well, its time to hit the road. Stay warm, especially for all the folks up North!

Why I do this..

At the end of each season, I inevitably get some downtime. As I mentioned in my last post, its a time where I get to feel human again. I get to wake up and not ache, and each day I feel more rested and get hungry to ride and race again. Its been almost a week since I threw a leg over a bike, and I'm getting close to that point where I need to suit up. I've been getting a run or two in, and yeah its a little workout, but thats not why I ride and race.

I started riding as a little kid to get away. It was a simple escape out my back door to some place I didn't know and a world to discover. I had some things as a kid that I wanted to hide from, and being on a bike was the one place that I found some reprieve. Growing up I had few really close friends, lots of acquaintances, but only a few that really understood or knew me. On a bike I could let my imagination go free and not have any concerns. I would imagine that I was riding my bike through forests in Europe, chasing the last rays of sun as the day came to a close. It was always hard to come home, I just wanted to live on my bike.

I played most of the popular sports, I enjoyed them for a while, I even became pretty good at them, but they disappeared when the fun did. Cycling was always somewhere in the back of my head, sometimes just barely visible, but I still felt it. At college, I became buried in books and homework, a girlfriend that was about as supportive as a spaghetti bridge. I gained weight, ok, almost a person in weight, and felt awful. I was just a fat dude. As my girlfriend moved across the hall, don't ask, I got my mountain bike out again, and started to ride more. Instantly, I started feeling better both in my head and body. I finally felt alive again. I started to ride more and more like I used to. I decided to apply for a delivery spot at JJ's to deliver food on my bike. I got a spot, and started working around 15 hours a week. I figured that 15 hours a week on my bike would be fun, but I had no idea what it would do to me. The first week or two sprinting around town on a converted single speed, made me work, and would just wear me out, but I kept feeling better.

I kept at it, and picked up more hours, longer shifts, and rode harder. I sprinted so hard to make a light, to make that gap between cars, I made myself hurt. I had always looked to the bike for a safe haven, but now I was making myself hurt because it made me feel something other than the crap I was going through. I was in a bad place in my head, and the pain that a steep climb on a windy day gave me, was excruciatingly beautiful.

The more I rode, the more focused I was on being healthy, and I changed my diet almost entirely; almost overnight. I literally threw out some perfectly good food, so that I wouldn't eat it. The weight started coming off slowly, and I worked with a dietitian friend of mine, and she kept me losing weight and feeling better.

Cycling soon started to take a front-seat in all aspects of my life. I was leaner, healthier, even loved life a little. I had some things that embittered me, and placed a huge shadow over everything, but I could get out from underneath that shadow on the bike.

The training of riding 30+ hours a week was incredible, I would kill to have that much time available now. I started to morph into a really capable cyclist; I was super-fit going into college, so it wasn't that unreasonable. I was doing long 4 hour rides instead of studying, working instead of going to class, and generally getting into shape. The first race I did was something a little out of the ordinary for a still heavy dude. My brother had talked me into doing a 12 hour mtb race near our hometown. We did it solo, and really did ok for our first ever race. For me, I caught a bug that hasn't left me since.

I had always used cycling as the outlet for all of my anger, frustration, sadness, and just pure stress, but this was something entirely different. The competition made me more focused, and it was addictive to toe the line and let loose on the trail. I started to race more, and more, started working at my home shop, and soon cycling took over completely.

My family really didn't know what to think of it all, but they have come around. My Mom has been learning more about 'cross, and has come to see me race a bunch this season. My Dad has even made it to a couple races. I'm in a happier place than I've been in a very long time, and its all because of two wheels. I still get out on the bike to ease some struggles in my mind and to obtain that clarity, and Mary knows when I need to get away.

So, thats a long story, well long, but its why I put in hours on the bike. Its why I pay someone to let me race my bike, its why I would go without heat so I could buy tires or the entry fees for the next race. Some people take up cycling just for fitness; I took up cycling again to save my life. So, thanks to everyone that has helped me, and continues to support both the addiction and the cure.